Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Good 1 Liners !

Ø Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.

Ø Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'

Ø I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Ø Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Ø I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.

Ø The road to success is always under construction.

Ø I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!

Ø Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Ø Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.

Ø When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ø Born free; Taxed to death.

Ø Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.

Ø Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Ø Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Ø I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

Ø The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented
the other three, he was the genius.

Ø If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll
believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he
has to touch it to be sure.

Ø If you can't convince them, confuse them

Ø I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Ø Hot glass looks same as cold glass. (Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers)

Ø The cigarette does the smoking - you are just the sucker.

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